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I got an insane posse, we ain't clowns though I ain't a juggalo, but I always fucking juggle hoes And maybe it's in my nature. But I never wanna date her But she's like a shot of vodka 'Cause I always gotta chase her What's the fucking problem with a one night stand? I'm never gonna settle down you need to understand And let me keep it simple I'm officially stable And I won't miss you here's a tissue I got issues believe me And I always see my mommy in every woman I meet But I hate my fucking mother motherfucker it's weak So please believe me I'm a needy insecure fucking freak And it ain't as easy or as dreamy as you thought it would be Took her out dinner yeahWent and tried to kiss her okay Opened up my eyes the fucking bitch Was checking twitter what?

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As a woman who's expecting, you're aware of most of the changes going on in your body. But there are some things that weren't covered in health class. Mainly, does anything weird happen to your butt hole during pregnancy?

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There's a lot to worry about when you're getting ready for parenthood. Will the baby be healthy? How will you adjust to being a mom?

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No, but our lactation consultant had told us that if LO is ever constipated you can lubricator a recital thermometer and insert it. We haven't had to donor but it's the same concept. Did she put a glove on at least?!

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The following was syndicated by Medium for The Fatherly Foruma community of parents and influencers with insights about work, family, and life. There are all sorts of parents in the world. The Aloof Parent.

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Ten years ago does not sound like it was a long time ago, because in some ways feels like yesterday. However, you would be surprised about how quickly things can change in 10 years other than general technology. Moms usually spend so much time during their pregnancy preparing for the birth of the baby.

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Luckily I say these things in my head or very, very quietly under my breath! Being a mom is no joke and being a full time mom to two little kids is trying. Should I not be allowed to have children around me?

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Spoken Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area.

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